This Feast of a Life by Holden So, writing as Cynthia So, explores grief, identity, first love, and the power of a really good meal.
Spanning a year and some change, the story follows Auden, who has only recently begun to explore their nonbinary identity, and Valerie, who is still reeling from the death of her mum. When we meet them, Auden is crumbling under their family’s expectations and is only out to the readers of their food blog—the one place where they feel comfortable using their preferred name and pronouns. Meanwhile, Valerie is dealing with her father’s despondence following her mum’s death all while coming to the realization that she is bisexual. One day, Valerie stumbles upon Auden’s blog and the two quickly strike up an online friendship that just might change both of their lives for good.
Auden’s blog reminds Valerie of her mum and her love of cooking, leading her to realize how much food can bring people together—which turns out to be the key to repairing her relationship with her father. From eating takeout that reminds her father of his life in Hong Kong to cooking Valerie’s mum’s favorite dishes, it was wonderful to witness their relationship evolve and change all because of some really delicious food. Valerie’s and Auden’s relationship also revolved around food and, as they visited restaurants together to review for Auden’s blog, their friendship slowly became something more.
One thing that I really loved about the book was the time that we as readers got to spend with both characters individually long before they ever meet IRL. The chapters alternate between Auden’s and Valerie’s POV, allowing us to gain a deep understanding of each of them outside of the context of their relationship to each other. When I picked this one up, I expected it to be more of a straightforward romance. In reality, the book is more so about both characters navigating the end of adolescence and entering into young adulthood: discovering who they are and who they’d like to be.
This Feast of a Life reminded me a lot of the Heartstopper comics by Alice Oseman, and I don’t think it’s just because both stories are set in the UK. They share some of the same central themes and tugged on my heartstrings in very similar ways. I am not usually someone who cries while reading, but both definitely brought some tears to my eyes. Auden’s exploration of their bisexuality, asexuality, and nonbinary identity is so thoughtfully and lovingly written.
I really like how the book didn’t shy away from depicting both positive and negative aspects of growing up as well as the ups and downs that come with the grieving process. The author also brought attention to important topics such as the recent protests in Hong Kong, internalized fatphobia, and the transphobia that is becoming more and more prominent in legislation coming out of the UK. I think teens and adults alike would get a lot out of the story, and I recommend it wholeheartedly.
If you like your YA heartwrenching and your French toast Hong Kong-style, you should definitely check out This Feast of a Life.
Content warnings: grief, death of a parent, transphobia, deadnaming
Hi! My name is Kit and I love sapphic stories. You can find me at @ShelfConscious.Library on Instagram.
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