In some ways, I have a harder time describing this book now than I did before I read it.
That isn’t to say that it’s dense or confusing. But the tone is unique, which makes it hard to categorize. You could call this a sapphic monster romance, but that doesn’t feel quite right. It’s definitely a fantasy novel, but that’s not all it is. It has a shapeshifting, murderous main character, and it contains lots of body horror, but it’s also not really a horror novel. It’s fitting that it is too slippery to neatly fit into a specific genre or subgenre.
More than the genre, it’s the tone that throws me. The most enjoyable part of this story is the narration. Our main character, Shesheshen, is an amorphous creature who can appear in different shapes, incorporating bear traps, chains, and bones to construct her form. She can imitate humans, which she uses to try to escape from the monster hunters pursuing her. When thrust into the human world, she is baffled by it, which provides a lot of the humour. She’s amoral, confused by any emotions she experiences, and skeptical about human norms.
The reason she finds herself among humans is Homily, who nurses her back to health after Shesheshen falls off a cliff fleeing from monster hunters. Homily believes that she’s a human, and Shesheshen is going along with this until she has recovered enough to leave—and, later, because she’s falling for Homily and thinks she’ll be the perfect person to lay her eggs in.
All of this is fun, and I liked the dynamic between Shesheshen and Homily. Homily sees Shesheshen’s bad attempts at imitating human behaviour as witty commentary or a unique sense of humour. Shesheshen is so drawn in by Homily’s kindness that she finds herself protecting her and genuinely enjoying their conversations. Shesheshen also has to unlearn her idea of romance, which involves making her love interest a nest for her young to eat.
The tone shift comes when we meet Homily’s family, who physically and emotionally abuse her. Specifically, her mother is endlessly verbally abusive and her sister [spoilers, highlight to read] continually cuts Homily’s neck, reopening wounds for years, forcing her to wear a scarf at all times to hide them [end of spoilers]. I was actually nauseated reading that description, and Homily clearly has a lot of trauma from her family, like she’s permanently stuck in the fawning response to danger. One line that will stick with me is Shesheshen’s realization of how much this has shaped Homily: Shesheshen is “mourning the realization that she’d fallen in love with someone’s pain.”
For me, I couldn’t quite grasp both of these aspects of the story—the comical elements and the horrific familial abuse—at the same time. I like the romance, including that both characters are asexual and that Homily is fat (and Shesheshen finds that attractive). And I do appreciate that we get to see some of the long journey of Homily addressing her trauma and beginning to heal, staying with the story to get more closure.
So many readers absolutely love this book, so I know I’m the minority here, but it didn’t all click together for me. I’m glad I read it, but I think I’m not the right reader for this one.
Content warnings: body horror, violence, familial abuse, cutting, animal abuse/torture, child death
