Blood-Soaked Quicksand of First Love: Soft by Jane Mai Review

I’ve been obsessed with Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu for years—and more specifically, queer reclamation of Carmilla. I’ve written about several times, on Book Riot and the Lesbrary. For example: Bringing the Lesbian Vampire Home: Carmen Maria Machado’s Reclamation of Carmilla. So, when I was browsing The Mary Sue’s list of the best comics and graphic novels of 2024, I was surprised to see a sapphic Carmilla retelling included there that I’d never heard of before. It turns out this is from a small press and isn’t available on Bookshop.org or Amazon, so it’s maybe less surprising I missed it, but I was still annoyed at myself! Of course, I immediately bought a copy online—including a steep Canadian shipping fee.

I was immediately fascinated by the choices made by Jane Mai in retelling Carmilla. First off, our main character, Laura, is young. She’s 15 when she meets Carmilla, and the book is structured like her diary. It really feels like a 15-year-old’s thoughts, including neat diagrams of her bedroom. The queerness is also actually named, unlike in the original, and we can see how Laura’s uneasiness with her relationship with Carmilla is made more complicated by her internalized homophobia.

With the queerness being text instead of subtext, it also makes Laura and Carmilla’s relationship more obviously an abusive romantic relationship. Laura is enthralled with Carmilla, but she also knows something is wrong. When girls begin dying, she knows Carmilla is responsible, but she is in too deep and feels helpless. She doesn’t feel like she can tell anyone, but she isn’t equipped to stop Carmilla from killing or even to end their relationship.

I won’t spoil it, but there’s a particularly memorable moment near the end that shows just how young Laura is—and how young, in some ways, Carmilla still is, who is perpetually a teenager. The ending is unexpected and poignant.

This perfectly marries a realistic teenage life with the melodrama of the original story, and I can see how it ended up on a best graphic novels of 2024 list! I hope it gets more attention in 2025.

“SOFT’s diary format creates an immediate intimacy—perfectly paced with everyday sketches and relatable notes about friends, I felt helpless pangs in my chest watching Laura slowly sink into the blood soaked quicksand that is her relationship with Carmilla.

Mai’s art and writing is as charming (and disarming) as Carmilla herself, creating a sickly and sad portrait of young obsession, loathing, and the often isolating experience of being a gay teenager in love.”
—E.M. Carroll, Through the Woods and When I Arrived At the Castle