Racquel Marie’s If We Survive This is in some ways a familiar story. Set in an alternate present where rabies has mutated into what is ultimately a zombie-fying disease, society has collapsed into an apocalyptic wasteland. Following the disappearance of their father, Flora and her brother, Cain, decide to follow him up to the cabin they vacationed in growing up, as possibly their only chance at survival. Along the way, they encounter their childhood friend, on whom Flora has always had a crush, as well as various allies and enemies. Interspersed with the present timeline, we also see glimpses of their last summer at the cabin before the world ended, where we find that for Flora, a constant fear of death is nothing new.
In her acknowledgements, Marie notes that because of her OCD, intrusive thoughts make her stay away from horror usually. As a reader who typically avoids all things apocalypse for the same reason, I have to say, this was one of the most affirming reads of my life. Not only for the OCD-specific rep, although I do love seeing a protagonist (a YA protagonist, even!) with a brain that works like mine, all of the little intricacies of OCD that I experience every day and never see people talk about—I think anyone with mental health struggles can relate to this book in some way.
That does make this book hard to read at times. These kids are literally fighting for their lives in half of the book, and even when they are not, even in the pre-apocalypse timeline, Flora cannot stop thinking of the ways they could die. It is suffocating, and it is overwhelming, and it constantly makes things harder for Flora.
Beyond the zombies and the mental health struggles, though, this is at its core an incredibly hopeful story. For all of the gore and the danger, for all of the grief and intrusive thoughts, I don’t actually think of this as a heavy book. Yes, they are trying to survive life-or-death circumstances with terrible odds, but this book never forgets about their humanity. There is a real sense of survival not only in a physical sense but also in a spiritual sense. I have talked a lot about the darker emotions of this book, but it is in fact quite funny, with delightful characters, a sweet romance, and so many charming friendships. In between the moments of peril, they find moments to swim in a lake, play silly sleepover games, get caught fooling around and tease each other like the teenagers they still are. And though it is easy to forget, they also remind each other that helping people, putting good out in the world when they can, still matters.
This is by far the most beautiful zombie story I have seen, and it is easily one of my favorite books of the year. If We Survive This brings hope and love to a bleak world, and I cannot recommend it enough. I loved everything about it.
