Last month, I was listening to Book Riot’s All the Books! and Vanessa Diaz recommended I Make My Own Fun by Hannah Beer (she/her). Vanessa described the main character as an A-list actor who is viewed as the golden child of the movie industry, but is actually a raging sociopath. The A-lister has a one-night stand with a bartender and becomes obsessed with her. I love a story about an unhinged woman, so I had to check it out.
I Make My Own Fun follows Marina, a 29-year-old British actor living in Los Angeles. Marina grew up in small-town England and received her first Oscar at only 15 years old. Marina is beloved. She has 450 million Instagram followers and her core fan group refers to themselves as Mariniacs. But Marina isn’t deserving of all the praise and adoration bestowed upon her. While she appears to be a talented actor, she is a terrible person. Beneath her carefully curated celebrity persona, she is selfish, manipulative, incredibly unkind, and actively engages in behavior that will harm others.
At the outset of the novel, Marina is in London for the premiere of her new film, Interspace. While there, she goes to a bar where she meets Anna, a pink-haired, nonchalant bartender that catches her eye. After Marina and Anna have a one-night stand, Marina is hooked. Marina begins to engage in obsessive behavior, stalking Anna, who she believes is playing hard to get. Marina believes herself to be irresistible and cannot fathom for a second that Anna isn’t secretly pining for her. As the novel unfolds, Marina’s behavior becomes increasingly disturbing, leaving readers wondering how far she will go to get what she wants.
I have a lot of conflicting feelings about I Make My Own Fun. I strongly disliked Marina. I can’t think of a protagonist that I’ve ever disliked more than her. I found her to be completely irredeemable as a character, and I am someone who really strives to see the good in people or the silver lining in a situation. But Marina, she was rotten to her core. That being said, I still found myself moving through the novel at a decent clip and feeling curious about what outrageous thing she would do next. In retrospect, I think that I was so incredulous about Marina’s behavior (my notes on this book basically became a running list of all the horrible things she did with exclamation marks) that I kept reading in the hopes that I could bear witness to her comeuppance.
Beer’s organization of I Make My Own Fun made it accessible and engaging. The novel is divided into three parts, each of which consist of interviews, articles, fan forum threads, social media posts, text/direct messages, e-mails, and diary entries. These mediums are juxtaposed with chapters told from Marina’s perspective. It was eye-opening to see how the media and Marina’s fans viewed her and the events that were taking place. The way Marina controlled the narrative and manipulated people and situations without fear of reprisal was truly unsettling.
I Make My Own Fun left something to be desired when it came to racial diversity. All the characters appeared to be white or nondescript. Regarding sexual orientation, Marina, Anna, and Marina’s boyfriend all appeared to be bisexual. I also did not care for the ending. Without including any spoilers, I found it be unsatisfying and unrealistic.
Although I originally thought I didn’t like I Make My Own Fun, upon further reflection, I realize I just strongly disliked the protagonist. I still found the book to be engaging and well-organized. I also appreciated that it kept surprising me. While I didn’t love it, I would recommend it for those that enjoy novels about unhinged women and are prepared for one of the most unlikable protagonists of all time. Just be sure to familiarize yourself with the trigger warnings.
Beer is a writer from North West England. She lives in London and works in communications. She describes herself as a “reformed fangirl” who has “an encyclopaedic knowledge of celebrity culture that she writes about in her newsletter Emotional Speculation.” You can find her on Instagram @hannah_beer.
Trigger warnings for murder, assault, animal abuse/death, stalking, mental and physical abuse, and manipulation.
Raquel R. Rivera (she/her/ella) is a Latina lawyer and lady lover from New Jersey. She is in a lifelong love affair with books and earned countless free personal pan pizzas from the Pizza Hut BOOK IT! program as a kid to prove it.