Cassie is a bisexual woman with harm OCD. She is struggling at an entry level publishing job with a boss she hates, reading manuscripts at all hours despite no longer being sure this is the industry for her. She loves her girlfriend, Lavender, but feels like Lavender would be horrified if she knew about her intrusive thoughts. Cassie feels like she must be a ticking time bomb, dangerous to the people she loves, so she breaks up with Lavender. Soon after, Cassie walks into her boss’s office to find him apparently dead, she is convinced everyone will think she did it.
Cassie responds by walking out of the office—and out of her own life. She drives to her hometown and stays at her parents’ currently-empty house, ignoring calls from her coworkers and roommates. It’s there she bumps into her childhood friend, Eli, who is now a widower with two kids. Cassie slips into this new life as easily as she left her last one. Soon, she has married Eli and is homeschooling his kids. But taking Beth’s place as a wife to Eli and parental figure to their kids is easier said than done, and Beth begins to intrude in Cassie’s new life.
I really enjoyed this modern gothic, for reasons that are mostly spoilers. In fact, I think I’ll have to have this review be mostly spoilers, but suffice to say I recommend it, as long as the descriptions of Cassie’s violent intrusive thoughts (including violence towards children) are not a dealbreaker. The unease builds up slowly, but despite the descriptions of violence, this is surprisingly heartfelt.
Spoilers below, highlight to read.
I was definitely surprised to encounter the first chapter from the point of view of Beth’s ghost. I appreciate it, though, because there’s never any question of whether Cassie is imagining her presence. We also get interesting complementary storylines of Cassie’s life that led her to this point and Beth’s life that her to… well, her death. I like that Beth’s story doesn’t end at her death: she’s still changing, including realizing that she’s not straight. I wasn’t expecting a romance between Cassie and Beth’s ghost currently occupying her body, but I’m here for it.
The most unexpected moment for me was seeing Cassie’s fear of someone seeing into her mind realized. Beth sees Cassie’s thoughts of harming her children, and she immediately knows that they aren’t Cassie’s actual desires. They’re unpleasant, but she doesn’t think any less of Cassie because of it. It’s a beautiful moment of Cassie finding the kind of acceptance she didn’t think was possible.
I appreciated seeing Beth and Cassie muddle through and negotiate sharing a mind/body. They make mistakes and get annoyed at each other, but they’re both acting in good faith, and it feels like they’ll be able to find a strategy that works for them both.
If you’re interested in a love story of a different kind, with some violent imagery but little actual horror, pick this up and let me know your thoughts!
Content warnings: gore, violence, violence towards children (imagined), grief, animal death
