Danika reviews Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire by Lisa M. Diamond

sexual fluidity lisa m diamond

This was a life-changing book for me. The only thing I can compare it to in terms of reading experience is Inseparable: Desire Between Women in Literature by Emma Donoghue, which opened up a whole world of queer women lit throughout time to me that I had never heard of before. Instead of changing my view of lesbian and bi books, though, Sexual Fluidity revolutionized my entire outlook on sexual identity and orientation.

I wish that was an exaggeration. This was an incredibly affirming book, but it also frustrated me that it took this long for me to discover a different framework from which to view sexuality–one that viewed my experiences not as an aberration, but as a normal, valid example of how sexuality might flow over time.

Lisa M. Diamond follows a group of almost 100 women over the course of ten years, most of them lesbians or bisexual women, checking in several times throughout to see how their sexual identity and behaviour had changed. Although the standard understanding of sexual orientation would assume that these women would stay in the same categories after they came out, this wasn’t the reality. 2/3 of the women changed identities (lesbian/bisexual/heterosexual/unlabeled) at some point during the ten years. Most of that change was because of sexual relationships women had since the last interview. Diamond argues that typically it isn’t actually that these women’s orientation is changing–the interviewees generally reported staying in a fairly narrow range of attraction to their preferred gender(s)–but that instead these experiences were due to examples of sexual fluidity.

This is a fairly academic text, but it’s packed full of fascinating information. It covers the biological aspects and psychological aspect of this concept, drawing from a huge amount of studies. I apologize for this long-winded review, because this book was so central in changing how I think about sexuality that I’m determined to note it all down so that I can’t forget.

Diamond argues sexual orientation indicates not a rigid  prediction of the gender(s)/sex(es) you are and will always be attracted to, but instead indicated a range from which you can fluctuate–meaning that being attracted nonexclusively to a certain gender is not necessarily a bisexual orientation, but may be brought on by sexual fluidity. Basically, sexuality is not just a range from 0% same-sex attraction = heterosexual, 1%-99% same-sex attraction = bisexual, and 100% same-sex attraction = homosexual. Instead, orientation is only one aspect of sexuality. Here are some of the things she argues make up sexuality:

  1. Sexual orientation, which indicates a tendency to seek out sexual experience with a certain sex/sexes
  2. Degree of fluidity: the capacity a person has to react to triggers for fluidity. Where orientation determines someone’s already-existing attraction to certain sexes, same-sex arousability determines someone’s receptivity to environments that might trigger fluidity–like becoming emotionally intimate with a same-sex friend
  3. Exposure to environments that might trigger fluidity (usually exposure to certain genders/sexes in everyday life–an all-women college won’t offer a lot of opportunity for sexual fluidity towards men)
  4.  Capacity for “person-based” attraction: for some people, emotional intimacy with someone may lead to romantic feelings, which may then lead to sexual attraction, just as sexual attraction to someone may then lead to romantic feelings for them

I know that I am over simplifying and likely mangling that explanation, but that is my understanding. Diamond also explores the roles of “proceptivity” (sexual drive) vs “arousability” (receptivity to sexual cues) in certain people’s lives. For people who menstruate, the hormonal fluctuations mean that arousability plays a bigger part in day-to-day attractions than proceptivity (unlike cis men).

She also explains that the biological foundation for romantic love evolved independently from sexuality. So while sexual orientation evolved to encourage mating, romantic love evolved from infant-caregiver bonding, which means that the biological underpinnings are not gender- or sex-specific, which explains why people might more easily fall in love with someone who does not match the sex they are usually attracted to. (These are systems that evolved separately, but they are connected, which is how romantic love might develop into sexual attraction and vice versa.)

Sexual Fluidity contains some pretty controversial statistics. For example, 60% of the women who identified as lesbians in the initial interviews went on to have sexual contact with men in subsequent years. More than 50% of the women who continued to identify as lesbians had sexual contact with men over the course of those ten years, and 30% of the women who identified as lesbians in the first interview would go on to have romantic relationships with men (though the vast majority of these women then stopped labeling themselves as lesbians). There seemed to be an unstated agreement that over 75% attraction to women meant you were a lesbian–people who crossed that line tended to change how they identified.

As someone who identified as a lesbian since high school, who felt at home in that label for ten years, and then found myself in a romantic relationship with a man, this was revelatory. Where I had always viewed my history of attraction as somewhat embarrassing and out of the ordinary, this recast it as perfectly valid and not even uncommon. According to this framework, it still made perfect sense that I would have a lesbian orientation but be in a relationship with a man (though I won’t call myself a lesbian anymore–I know that wouldn’t go over well). It just meant that I have capacity for fluidity, even though I have a pattern of being attracted to women. I can’t explain what a relief it was to read about my experiences as…. well, normal.

The conclusion of this book proposes that we change the way we look as sexuality, especially women’s sexuality. One promising avenue is dynamical systems, which in a psychology context means that it views a subject by acknowledging that biology and environment are constantly influencing and changing each other: it is a system that is based in change and assumes that change will happen, rather than seeing sexuality as a fixed point.

It’s important that we teach about sexual fluidity, because despite the fact that the majority of the women interviewed were affected in some way by fluidity, they usually explained these examples with some embarrassment, feeling as though they were the exception to the rule. Diamond shares that when she speaks at queer events about this research, she always has women come up to her afterwards and “confess” their experiences with fluidity, and how they had felt alone in this. We should not be teaching that perfectly normal shifts in sexuality or “exception to the rule” person-based attractions are abnormal.

This isn’t a perfect book. Diamond acknowledges that more research is needed, especially in the biological aspects that she mentions, which are often based on animal experiments. My primary criticism is the cissexism: gender and sex are conflated, which explains my muddled use of both in this review. Intersex people and nonbinary people are erased–despite the fact that two of the participants went on to identify as nonbinary in some way. And, of course, this is all based on interviews of people during a specific time period, and from a fairly narrow sample. It isn’t perfect, but it did blow my mind and make me consider my worldview, so I can’t help but give it 5 stars. If you have ever felt like your experiences don’t fit into the standard explanation of sexual orientation, I highly, highly recommend reading this one.

Shira Glassman reviews Prom and Other Hazards by Jamie Sullivan

prom and otherhazards

Any story that starts with “will you GOAT to prom with me” has got me hooked. The main character may think that’s an awful pickup line, but I’m all over that shit 😛 This was a totally approachable piece of contemporary YA f/f with a happy ending, relatable and familiar characters, and girls in formal wear looking stunning.

The main character of Prom and Other Hazards has been in love with her best friend for years. She doesn’t come out when the best friend comes out as bi, because it’s in the context of the friend telling her about the great time she had kissing…. some other girl, on vacation. We still need stories where teens are afraid to come out to their crushes because it’s a super common and relatable experience but it’s nice to read a YA where the fear is just “what if she doesn’t like me that way” instead of “what if she doesn’t like girls that way.” Sometimes it’s nice when the stressors in an LGBTQ+ character’s life are things that happen to straight people, too.

In order to afford a suit rental for prom, the protagonist ends up working for the rental place, and I loved the zany depictions of her teenage male customers. I wonder if it’s really like that during prom season at a suit rental shop? The author made it sound totally believable.

It’s a well-structured story, with a plot twist that threw me for a loop exactly where it would have if this was a teen movie. Luckily, I knew this was from a LGBTQ+ publisher and I was therefore guaranteed a happy ending! I enjoyed watching the girls conquer the plot.

Tierney reviews Oath of Honor by Radclyffe

oath of honor by radclyffe
Oath of Honor recounts the reluctant romance between Wes, newly hired head of the White House Medical Unit, and Evyn, dedicated Secret Service agent: though their attraction is immediate (as it so often is in romance novels), the two suppress their feelings in favor of their professions’ singular goal – protect the president. But as a plot to assassinate the president unfolds, so does their romance.

If that combination of plot points sounds a little odd to you, you’re not alone: Wes and Evyn certainly have a steamy and engaging romance, but the romantic plot-line is muddled by the presidential assassination scheme. Radclyffe alternates viewpoints, throwing in scenes from the points of view of other characters, including the would-be assassin, a rival of the president’s who wants to pave the way for his own rise to power. It makes sense for a romance novel to have some suspense and drama, but this slightly disjointed assassination plot-line takes it too far, detracting from the romance that is theoretically the heart of the novel, especially since this plot-line is left hanging at the end of the novel (perhaps leaving room for a sequel).

Despite this significant flaw, Oath of Honor is still a fun read. Wes and Evyn are well fleshed-out characters, they have great chemistry together, and the first responders premise is certainly an interesting one. If you’re looking for a romance novel whose plot reads like a soap opera’s, and don’t mind the occasional foray into fragmented political machinations, give Oath of Honor a try.

Note: Oath of Honor is the third title in Radclyffe’s First Responders series of medical drama romance novels: each novel stands alone in terms of its characters and plot, but centers around characters who are first responders. Oath of Honor features snippets from the points of view of Blair Powell and Cameron Roberts, stars of Radclyffe’s Honor series.

Link Round Up: July 4 – 26

safegirltolove   perfect pairing spangler   whatmakesababy   monstress awakening   Here Comes The Sun dennis benn

Autostraddle posted Lez Liberty Lit #102: Dog-Eared Days of Summer and 24 Very Gay Excerpts from Eleanor Roosevelt’s Love Letters with Lorena Hickok.

Topside Press is holding a fundraiser for The Workshop: a trans women writing workshop, with Sarah Schulman and Casey Plett as instructors!

Women and Words posted Hot off the Press, July 2016 and Coming Attractions, August 2016.

Roxane Gay will be writing the Marvel comic World of Wakanda, and the first story will be about two women in Black Panther’s security team who fall in love!

Read Me Like A Book by Liz Kessler was reviewed at Lambda Literary.

Prospect/Refuge by Elaine Sexton was reviewed at Lambda Literary.

What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg was reviewed at BCLA LGBTQ.

Perfect Pairing by Rachel Spangler was reviewed at Lesbian Reading Room.

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Holly reviews Canary by Nancy Jo Cullen

Canary

In her first collection of short stories, Nancy Jo Cullen displays her talent for creating distinct characters and blessing them with the same insecurities that haunt the rest of us.  Although each has their own unique personality, one commonality among all of the characters in this collection is their acquiescence to despair.  From the despondent waitress/dancer to the widower whose dead wife’s ashes ride shotgun wherever he goes, it seems that each of these characters has surrendered to the oppressive hopelessness that smothers their existence.  Sure, there are some glimmers of optimism here and there: The sullen teenage girl who feels invisible gets an ego boost when her older cousin rubs his hard-on against her during a consensual albeit ill-advised make-out session; A recently divorced woman achieves a sense of vindication through having all of her pubic hair waxed off and then hurling a rock through her ex-wife’s window.  

However these characters identify, whoever they love (or don’t love), this book is filled with tension, desolation, and dreams that, upon being realized, don’t turn out to be so dreamy.  Each of these characters aches to escape, to transcend.  In “Happy Birthday”, a woman who describes her marriage to her wife as a carcass they are dragging behind them takes a night’s reprieve from motherhood and wifehood by walking out on her demented mother’s 83rd birthday party and hitchhiking to Banff.  In “The 14th Week in Ordinary Time”, another tale of making-do, a closeted gay husband and a wife who would prefer to not sleep with him anyways break their celibacy in an attempt to conceive.  

Situated primarily in British Columbia, many of these stories are set in the late 80’s and early 90’s, and the music of that time is often utilized to set the tone.  The era’s song lyrics are woven into the narrative like musical pathetic fallacy.  The stories are all sort in length, averaging about 16 pages each.  They move at a good pace that keeps you anticipating what fresh socially-awkward hell these poor people will find themselves in next.  The stories in this collection expose something that we can all relate to: The myriad ways in which other people disappoint us, and the futility with which we attempt to reconcile this disappointment with our innate optimism.  These characters pull their terrible circumstances around their shoulders like an itchy wool blanket, and try to garner warmth despite the excruciating discomfort.

 

Kalyanii reviews Neither Present Time by Caren J. Werlinger

neither present time caren werlinger

It seems as though just about everyone has claimed insight into the nature of serendipity, destiny and happenstance. In fact, one of my most beloved quotes is attributed to former prime minister of Portugal and European Commission president, Jose Manuel Barroso:  “What people call serendipity sometimes is just having your eyes open.” Yet, how does a woman go about seeing clearly while she’s trying with all her might to remain in the dark, to live in denial of that which is plain as day?

When not shelving reference materials at the university library where she works, Beryl Gray enjoys appraising old and rare books for Mr. Herrmann at The Scriptorium. It’s a hobby, really; she’s happy enough being compensated in editions of her choosing, for it’s the closest she’s come to utilizing her doctorate in Medieval European Literature. Yet, late one afternoon in June, a slim edition, which inadvertently finds its way into her backpack, proves itself an unexpected treasure. Opening the front cover, Beryl comes upon an inscription that captures her imagination and leads her on a quest for the “forever and beyond” that she so desperately desires.

Beryl hoped she might find some semblance of “forever” with her partner, Claire, as emotionally abusive and manipulative as she may be; but, when, eight years into their relationship, she discovers Claire has been unfaithful, she unearths the courage to break free of the illusion and to take her first steps toward crafting a life on no one’s terms but her own. She packs a few clothes and, literally, all of her books, then walks away.

With the encouragement of Ridley Wade, hired a couple weeks after her long-time colleague succumbs to a heart attack, and his generous offer to put her up until she regains her bearings, Beryl not-so-gradually embraces her truth and the breadth of her potential. She begins an exercise regimen, considers applying for a job for which she’s not direly overqualified and embarks upon a pursuit to return the inscribed book to its rightful owner – as well as to discover whether the type of love she imagines it represents really does exist.

Without question, the overarching storyline carried forth within Neither Present Time is immensely complex and engaging. There are nearly a dozen subplots incorporated within Werlinger’s tale; yet, all are clear and easily followed, which I found to be quite a remarkable feat. I truly can’t wrap my mind around what it must have taken to structure the novel. Not a single subplot proves tangential. In fact, each and every one either contributes to some aspect of Beryl’s personal growth or illuminates an element of the mystery surrounding the rightful owner of the inscribed book.

All the while, the scenes which address the events of the past, circa 1945, gravitate toward the present tense, whereas present-time happenings are described in the past, which I initially took as an oversight, an amateur’s mistake, only to discover that Werlinger’s use of verb tense was nothing if not intentional, masterful and eerily poignant. As a result, the reader comes to a visceral understanding of how very vivid and alive those memories are for the woman who lived them, now 93 years of age.

As compelling as I found the plot to be, it was the character-driven aspect of the novel that kept me turning page upon page. I grew sympathetic enough to Beryl’s experience, for she was drawn so well, that I began to view the other characters through her eyes. Even secondary characters, most notably Ridley, are humanized to such a degree that I felt the gravity of his PTSD, for he is a war veteran, and his reluctance verging on utter inability to let another in. The way Werlinger illustrates the solidity of his walls while making him accessible to the reader is beyond me.

At the core, Neither Present Time is a story of self-empowerment and the call for a life lived without regrets. As the inscribed book’s owner shares with Ridley, “You’re too young to understand, but… no matter what reasons you think there might be now not to act on the love you’re feeling, I promise you, when you’re old, you won’t remember those reasons. You’ll only remember the regret that you didn’t do it.” Regardless of the outcome, Werlinger so beautifully conveys, it is the journey, the precious odyssey in and of itself, that matters, which is precisely what allows the reader to relate and to invest despite the hurdles to be overcome in getting there.

Bessie reviews Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson

200px-GutSymmetries

Gut Symmetries is a beautifully written love triangle involving two physicists and a poet. It’s a romance between science and mythology. Jove and Stella seem like an odd couple, the scientist and the poet, who knew each other since they were children and are destined to be together. Jove and Alice look like an obvious story, the older man and the young pupil. These two pairings seem like things we should understand — things get interesting when Stella meets Alice. Instead of jealousy and anger the two women begin a relationship of their own.

Jove is a self centered man, who never imagined the women in his life existing beyond him. Stella and Alice had expectations about who the other was going to be, but they surprise each other. As their relationship blossoms they move away from Jove’s influence.

There is one line from the first time Alice and Stella first had sex that I really appreciated. Winterson writes that, “Desiring her I felt my own desirability. It was an act of power but not power over her. I was my own conquest.” It really resonated as to why women appreciating each other can be a huge thing in a patriarchal male gaze world.

The beginning was slow, but it picks up as it starts to explore the world around the characters, how they got to the tangled mess of their relationship, and how their lives got them to this place. Winterson starts catching us up with action that has already happened. The plot doesn’t provide much forward momentum until close to the end.

Winterson comments on the nature of the novel that she’s creating. As her character relays her own past, Winterson writes, “I should have preferred it to be neater, tauter, the pace of a mystery, the thrill of a romance. What I had were fragments of colored glass held up to the light . . . This is my signal flashing towards you.” They’re absolutely beautiful fragments.

The ending gets a bit gory, but always wrapped in beautiful imagery. The prose is consistently wonderful. Winterson uses the language of science and mythology to draw up an intricate world.

The chapters get their titles from tarot cards. Winterson juxtaposes the ways science and mysticism think about how the world is bound together. She incorporates physics into her poetry. She uses superstring theory as metaphor, and the novel gets its title from GUT symmetries, a concept that I’ll admit to not absorbing the science of. She discusses planetary movements in terms of both science and astrology, all getting to the idea that the universe works in a way that is larger than any one person.

Stella and Alice and Jove are their own actors, but also their families and heritage. The world she describes works within systems. There are patterns that are older than people, bound to repeat, or maybe not. Winterson writes that:

“In the Torah, the Hebrew ‘to know,’ often used in a sexual context, is not about facts but about connections. Knowledge, not as accumulation, but as charge and discharge. A release of energy from one site to another. Instead of a hoard of certainties, bug-collected, to make me feel secure, I can give up taxonomy and invite myself to the dance: the patterns, rhythms, multiplicities, paradoxes, shifts, currents, cross-currents, irregularities, irrationalities, geniuses, joints, pivots, worked over time, and through time, to find the lines of thought that still transmit.”

In Gut Symmetries Winterson explores the dance between a world with rules and repetition, and a world with spontaneity and love change who people are.

Katelyn reviews Wet Moon Volume 1: Feeble Wanderings by Sophie Campbell

wet moon feeble wanderings

I must start this review by saying that I never read graphic novels—not for any particular reason besides that I never felt drawn to any—but this one intrigued me. The cover itself looked so ethereal yet dark and gave off the same vibes as the Southern Gothic stories I loved so much as a teenager, which is funny since the series is about a group of goths in the South.

Wet Moon Volume 1 follows Cleo Lovedrop and her friends as they begin their freshman year at an art school in the fictional town of Wet Moon, Florida. There is romance, mystery, and something even more sinister just beneath the surface of this swampy town…at least I think. Even after reading through the first book three times, I’m not entirely sure what is supposed to be happening, mostly because nothing seems to be happening yet. It is clear that some of the characters are not straight though, so I do know that much.

It seems to me that Campbell meant for this book to be an introduction to the series, but it’s a hazy introduction at best. It’s clear that there are issues between certain characters (like Cleo and the mysterious guy she keeps bumping into) but it isn’t clear enough to build suspense necessary to keep me reading.

The lack of plot and clarity are part of a bigger issue: the writing. Campbell’s writing is the biggest downfall. Writers who say can a lot in a few words are hard to find, and that’s what this book needs to have the same impact that the artwork has.

However, even without much of a plot or much clarity, the book probably could have been saved with well-rounded, interesting characters. Unfortunately, the characters seem more like middle-schoolers than college kids, and none of them are very likable; when they aren’t at each other’s’ throats (they don’t seem to have healthy or even pleasant friendships) they come off as generally uncaring toward other people, or in Cleo’s case, whiny and needy. The most likable character seems to be Audrey, but she still isn’t very interesting.

Reading this book was a bit of a struggle, not just because of the writing quality, but also because the words themselves were sometimes hard to decipher. They seem to be written in Campbell’s handwriting, which means that when one character has a lot to say, the words are crammed in one giant bubble. The journal entries were especially hard to read; I found myself spending a long time trying to read  them, and then when I finally did, I was frustrated to discover that they added very little to the (almost nonexistent) plot.

The one saving grace of this book was the artwork; it is absolutely gorgeous, and all of the characters are unique and diverse in terms of race, body type, etc. My favorite panels are the ones where Cleo and Myrtle look at themselves in the mirror. In some comics, they would have been drawn to look sexually appealing, but instead they looked like real women in the privacy of their bathrooms.

I only wish Campbell had hired someone else to write the book or to work with her on it. The artwork deserves much better accompaniment.

Marthese reviews Fat Angie by e.E. Charlton-Trujillo

fatangie

“There’s more to you than how you look, you’re more than a package”

Fat Angie is a book that I had been meaning to read for a while because it seemed like a complex and intersectional queer read. Spoiler: it is.

Fat Angie is about Angie, a rerunning freshman in Ohio who has a lot to deal with but never seems to give up. She takes on her sister’s advice and tries to ‘follow through’. Her sister, who, after a stint as a great basketball player, joins the army and is taken hostage. Angie still has hope that her sister is alive and fights everyone that tries to mud sling her sister.

Angie is bullied but she does stand up for herself sometimes. She wants to please her mother who sends both her and her brother Wang to therapy (and is dating their therapist) but her mother is never pleased. Be warned that her behavior could be triggering to some. Despite this, I find the characters in this book to be multidimensional. The bully may have reasons, the perfect popular star may not be perfect, the main character herself makes mistakes. Most characters are hurting and they cope differently.

Then there’s KC Romance, the new girl who falls for Angie and Angie falls for who sees Angie as Angie, without the fat. KC is a complex character, who is seen as ‘alternative’ but is popular yet she has a somewhat dark past but whose mother probably is the only mentioned parent that’s a parent role model.

Angie copes with her sister’s ‘MIA’ status with two, seemingly paradoxical things: binge eating and sport (first basketball in the steps of her sister and then another sport). At the beginning of the year, it is mentioned that Angie tried to commit suicide and this became a public event. Yet, she doesn’t give up. She doesn’t fit in, she’s awkward but she takes steps to move on despite being stuck somewhat in the past, when her sister was still with them.

Angie’s and KC’s relationship is deep, connecting, sweet with a cup of drama and misunderstandings and awkwardness thrown in. It’s a mature, teenage relationship that is not perfect but supporting the individuals within it.

Be warned that this book contains some triggers: suicide attempt, self-harm, body issues, mentions of death and torture, bad parenting and bullying. Sometimes, especially with Angie’s mother and her therapist, the reader is left bubbling with anger. At the end, I think that although not justified, we see also different sides to the characters that we do not like. The character development in this book was subtle, but well executed.

I would recommend this book, which I rated as five stars, to people that want to read a queer book where the main focus isn’t the relationship (it’s still a big part though).

I listened to this book as an audiobook- my first one- thanks to the Sync Audiobooks Summer program which means that this audiobook is free to download until today (21st July 2016)! I will try to read the book in the future to compare my experience but I think that the narration was done quite well and helped to immerse me in my experience (I coloured while I listened).

Korri reviews Pembroke Park by Michelle Martin

pembroke park michelle martin

As an avid reader of historical romance novels and lesbian fiction, I have long known of Michelle Martin’s Pembroke Park; it has a legendary status among readers, which is only heightened by the fact that it is currently out of print. When I got my hands on a copy via AbeBooks, I eagerly delved in.

Published in 1986, Martin’s delightful book (billed as the first lesbian Regency novel) is more in the vein of Jane Austen than contemporary romance novels. The social intricacies of the era are observed: the heroines know each other for months before addressing each other by first name; gossip spread at public balls in the Herefordshire countryside can ruin reputations; and the villains of the story are an arrogant, overbearing brother and propriety rather than some dastardly foe with a complicated scheme.

Amid this simplicity, it was wonderful to read about the growing attachment between new neighbors Lady Joanna Sinclair and Lady Diana March. Though Lady Diana’s habit of riding astride shocks the locals, including widowed Lady Joanna, the two women become close. Who could help but love the unconventional Diana, a woman who is free in her speech, exotic in her attire, and who was once hauled before a court in Alexandria ‘on charges of drunk and disorderly conduct, assaulting an officer of the law, liberating a trader’s camel, and soliciting the English Ambassador for prostitution’? Joanna’s playfulness with her daughter and repressed talent for painting endears her to readers and to Diana.

The slow-building attraction between Joanna & Diana is charming. The secondary characters offer other portrayals of same-sex love and ground Joanna & Diana within a community. I only wish the happily ever after had given us more time with the heroines, showing readers what their life was like as a family with Joanna’s daughter Molly. This novel has earned a place on my keeper shelf next to other Regency romances.